A Path So Hidden

[Lost One]

This is my second story-poem (first one on here). It's a series of poems making a story, I'm just putting the first two parts on here now and if people want me to I will add more in this thread. No, they do not rhyme, sorry.


PART ONE:
I feel so lost and empty,
I begin to wonder if life really matters.
I don't see a way to live without fear.
Not a single way to make it out alive.

I don't suppose you care if I stumble in the darkest places.
Not a hope not a fear if I stumble all alone.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I lost myself tonight.
I don't suppose you would, I don't.

I feel like I may fall apart,
I have proceeded to fall apart into a million peices.
I don't see a way to live my life as if I'm whole.
Not a single way I could hold my life together.

I don't suppose you'd care if I stumble through an ally.
Not a life to live if fear is death.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I tried not to cry again.
You never noticed me cry the first time.

I feel like I've got nothing,
I stop to ask myself if anything could save me from what I've become.
I don't see a way to live in hope that fear will be replaced.
Not a single way to hope for who I am.

I don't suppose you'd care if I opened up my eyes.
Not a light to shine to let me see.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I never came back.
But is my life worth either one?
Noticing or caring.

PART TWO:
I feel so lost and empty,
I'm still wondering if life really matters.
I don't see the hope inside this empty hole.
Not a single place to call my own.

I don't suppose you care about my hurting heart.
Not a thing I could even do anyway.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I lost myself tonight.
I don't notice a way to let me live alive.

I feel like I may fall apart,
Or maybe I have already fallen apart before.
And that's why falling apart seems natural.
Not a single thing could stop me now.

I don't suppose you'd let me in your life.
Not a chance I'd ruin that.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I slept out in the cold.
You didn't notice me there the first time.

I feel like I've lost everything,
I stop to ponder if I really ever had anything to lose at first.
I don't see a way to live like this for very long.
Not a single way to live like this.

I don't suppose you'd care if I listened now.
Not a sound could play for me.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I listened to you at all.
But is my acknowledgement worth either one?
Noticing or Caring.

PART THREE (http://penguinforum.miniclip.com/showpost.php?p=982630&postcount=3)
PART FOUR
PART FIVE (http://penguinforum.miniclip.com/showpost.php?p=989262&postcount=5)

[tobymacfreak]

That was great.
I don't care if it didn't rhyme, it was still very sad and well written.
Nice job!
Post the other parts. ;p

10\10

[Lost One]

Here is the third part, I will have the fourth up soon too.

PART THREE:
I feel so lost and empty,
As far as I have gone can life matter now?
I don't see the light inside this pit of darkness.
Not even a single dim glow.

I don't suppose you care about the choices that I make.
Not a thing I chose could change me.
I don't suppose you notice that I've changed directions.
I don't notice a significant difference.

I feel as if I've fallen apart,
Or maybe I'm being put back together.
But what is back together anyways?
Not a single thing would let me know.

I don't suppose you'd tell me if I'm right.
Not a word would come from you.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I spoke to you.
You didn't notice when I asked for help.

I feel like I ruined everything.
I stop to wonder if I am capable of affecting anything though.
I don't think I've affected anything before.
Not a single thing that matters.

I don't suppose you'd care if I tried harder.
Not an effort of mine to count.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I even tried at all.
But are my efforts worth either one?
Noticing or Caring.

[tobymacfreak]

Awesome.
I love how each poem is similar with each other.
It flows very well.
It is depressing, and though provoking.
I look forward to part four.

10\10.

[Lost One]

PART FOUR:
I feel so lost and empty,
Can life really matter if I feel this way?
I don't see the truth inside this lie.
Not a single true word.

I don't suppose you care about this life I lead.
Not a thing would make it right.
I don't suppose you notice that I may have found a way.
I don't care enough to try anyways.

I feel like I'm always falling apart,
Or maybe I'm actually complete for once.
But would I feel this hole?
Not a single thing could ever fill it.

I don't suppose you'd care if I was wrong.
Not a thing I say could be right.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I was right.
You don't notice that I may be.

I feel like I messed this up.
I stop to consider if I am capable of messing up when I'm alone.
I don't think I have really ever been alone before.
Not a single time I remember.

I don't suppose you'd care if I was right.
Not a chance you'd think you're wrong.
I don't suppose you'd notice if I found an answer.
But are my ansers worth either one?
Noticing or caring.

PART FIVE:
I'm done feeling lost and empty,
Life can't really matter if I always feel that way.
You can't have darkness in the light.
Not a single lie.

I suppose you don't have to care about me.
Not a word could change my mind.
I suppose you don't have to notice if I am alive.
But it'd be best if you noticed.

I know I'm always falling apart,
Although I'm always being put together again.
But you don't know.
Not a single thing will open your eyes.

I suppose I don't need your care to open my eyes.
Not a thing I see is controled by you.
I suppose it doesn't matter if you notice my joy.
Though I noticed your unhappiness.

I feel like I'm setting things straight.
I wait to listen to the words I know will guide me.
I think they've been here all alone.
Not a single time they weren't.

I suppose my care should show.
Not an attitude or judgement will stop it.
I suppose one day you will notice my choice.
Because all life is worth both.
Noticing and caring.

I don't think I'm putting anymore for this series on here... no one really said anything about them... =[ Oh well.

[tobymacfreak]

10\10.
Great job.
I am glad to see some happiness on part five.
These poems are very good, so it is hard for me to give criticism.

Er, let's see, the only thing I didn't like was that on part 1, you used the line "tonight." Which is a pretty generic line.
Besides that, these are awesome.