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RedneckSlayer42
16 February 2008, 01:51 AM
I am glad that the Writers Block has been opened. Truth be told, I have a strong passion for writing, and I feel its time to let that passion escape from my fingertips. Here is my debut story in the Writers Block.

If Life Depended On It....
RedneckSlayer42


"Tag!Your it!" Giggled a small child that ran as he was being pursued by another child. The two children flocked across the vast field, laughing at every step they took. The first child abrubtly took a dive into the yellow grass, as the other immediatley tumbled onto him. Their laughter was continuos, and they clutched their abdomens in order to maintain their breathing.

The first child was Sam. Sam was a Caucasian little fellow, with close cropped blonde hair, and was gaunt, with hazel eyes. The other was Tyler, who was one hald Caucasian, and the other half belonging to the Asian race. He had jet black hair that was stlyed into a mullet that touched his heels. He had a snubbed nose, and a distinct facial construction.

They finally silenced, and stared at each other. Tyler broke the silence to utter a questioning. "Sam?" Tyler questioned. "What?" Sam responded. Tyler raised his arm, and positioned his hand on his shoulder. He deeply sighed, then looked at his friend directly in the eyes. "Do you think we will stop being friends one day?" Sam then immediately submerged into a deep, concentrational thought. He glanced at his friend. Tyler was gazing into the sky, the wind brushing through his hair, making it dance wildly with the motion of the wind. Sam clutched the dead gras and jerked it from the roots, then tossed it into the air, watching each individual strand hover briefly, then slowly fall back to the ground. "Tyler..." Sam then swallowed and fixed his direction at him "Tyler...We will be friends forever." Immediatley as these words escaped from his mouth, the two locked into a tight embrace, sobbing as they did so. "Friends forever..."Tyler assured he and his friend as they continued the embrace. Then gradually, they unlocked the embrace, and pulled themselves up from the ground. They said there farewells, and they walked off to go to their houses Sam walked on, hearing the crunches of his footsteps as he walked.


Twenty years later. A deadly tropical storm was surging into the area. It stormed in without further warning. Sam had no time to react. He rushed quickly downstairs and bolted out his front door. He franticly dug into his pockets and reached for his keys to the jeep. He unlocked the door and started the vehicle. Outside, a deadly combination of strong winds and water awaited to ensnare anyone who dare stepped into it. He sped through the road, as numerous debris jolted in different directions. The rain and wind, combined with the large amount of debris, was an obstacle for him. He blindly drove into what seemed like and escape.After a while, he was suddenly caught by suprise, as a powerfule wind tossed his vehicle off the ground, as it sped through the air. It then collided with the ground with a violent smashing sensation.

Sam was ejected through the window, and rolled on the ground, and ending with his knee hitting a rock. He winced in pain, grimacing at the unpleasant sensation traveling in his knee. He looked around to see where he was. By the looks of it, he was in a different state. His head thudded to the ground, as he hopelessly screamed into the distance. Then he heard a sound. A very distinct one at that. It was not the screaming wind, or the noise of crashing debris, but of footsteps. He looked to see a figure coming toward him. THe person kneeled beside him, and gripped his arm. The figure gazed intently at him. The insideous lightning snapped across the sky, as the rain pounded onto the earth. "Sam? Is that you? It me Tyler." Sam pondered, and snapped into memory. His heart grew fond with feelings of warmth and nostalgia.

However, before he could respond, the two were smashed with articles of debris, and carried to a desolate location. They noticed they were suspended from a cliff, both of them clutching on to a branch attached to the tree. Or at least it was attached for the moment. Sam looked down to see raging waters , and rocks sharpened with dangerous appearing tips that looked as if they could penetrate any material. Especially human skin."The way I see it, the branch is about to snap. If one of us climbs up there, the other falls." Tylers eyes widened, but they sooon shrunk. "You go Tyler." Sam told him. Tyler looked up, then down, and finally at Sam."No, you. At childhood I had dedicated myself to you, and though we have been seperated since, my dedication remains. Go." Tyler stated. "But.." Sam stuttered. "Friends forever." Said Tyler. Tyler held up his palm to Sam. Sam did that also, and their palms connected. As they did, a rush of spiritual energy escelated and motioned through them. Then they released. "Friends forever." Sam said, as he pulled his self up to safety. He watched as his friend sped down to his eternal doom to the gushing waters and jagged rocks. Sam cried, then stared at his palm. "Friends forever....." Sam whispered.

Dannyboy
16 February 2008, 02:08 AM
Good story. Short, sad, and to the point. Although, you should add more to the middle of the story, leaving me with, "Really, a gargantuan 20 year void?" Seriously, no significance

Descripton. Mas por favor. You are just listing the their basic facial features. "Caucasian; Caucasian- Asian" truthfully, not much but an ongoing list.

Dialogue. On separate lines would be easier to read.

Message. Excellent.

walmartshrty
16 February 2008, 02:15 AM
I thought a little part in the middle of how, twenty years went by and they how their lives separated from each-other would have been nice. Would have gone for a longer story. But it was really good, sweet, sad, perfect.

mischiefmake
16 February 2008, 02:33 AM
I like it. It's a pretty good story, although as others said, it would've been nice if you'd gone into a little details as to what happened during those 20 years apart.
In a way though, it leaves you wondering, what did happen in those 20 years...

Keep writing. ;)

RedneckSlayer42
16 February 2008, 02:39 AM
There was meant to be a void in the middle. Its kind of like in some movies where theres one scene, and in the next it says 15 years later or soething like that. But I will keep writing if you wish.

REVENGE
16 February 2008, 06:17 PM
The plot and the moral behind this story was very good. :]

I'm extremely excited to see a new face here - not to mention a new story.

Like everyone else has mentioned, the 20 year gap is a bit much - I can see where the idea sprung though. Keep in mind that perhaps a sentence here or there describing how they remained in touch, etc, would make it a slight less confusing. :]

RedneckSlayer42
17 February 2008, 01:50 AM
Thank you for the compliments REVENGE.