...White Eye...

[Freebee93]

A story.
Edit: Whoops! could a mod add the story tag?

Dedicated to: Anybody who takes the time to read.
Chapter One: Star Night
As Jane Willow walked about the room
thoughts raced through her head. She was 21 today,
and engaged. Around 2 her lover took her
outside to his garden, and asked for engagement.
She had immediately accepted. She also thought will
i keep my maiden name or will i be a Stagno?
When should the wedding be? Who will plan the wedding?
Hopefully not me! She looked out her bedroom window
she could see many constilations and it seemed hundreds
of stars in view. She shivered, what a drafty night! Jane shut
her curtains and put a second blanket on her bed. She looked at
the temperature on the wall 57 F "What on earth?!?" and she
quickly turned it up 15 degrees, brushed her teeth and took
out her contacts, she turned on a dim light and got her book,
the chronicles of narnia the lion the witch and the wardrobe, and started reading.
A hour later she shut her book and took a sleeping pill
she had finally fell asleep

[REVENGE]

Interesting. But, may I suggest writing a bit more before posting your stories? Keep in mind that the above post is more of the first paragraph than the first chapter. When writing a story you want to give the reader a reason to continue reading the story, and one way to do that is to add in descriptive details, such as how she feels about her lover, why she's stressing out, perhaps a flashback to the engagement proposal. Also, some details are better left out of the story. The reader will want to see inside the character's thoughts, but may not be as interested in the more petty details. Ex: If you're going to write about the character brushing her teeth and taking out her contacts, you could write what the character is thinking about while doing these tasks and what she feels about her life in general at that time.

I hope this helped a bit. :]